Jozi Girl

The matriarch of my wife’s large family, has died in Johannesburg .

Zohra Rajah was born 89 years ago in the Garden City Hospital just a short distance from her last home.

Zohra’s lineage bears testament to the cultural melting pot that is typical of many South African families and perhaps counter to what an outsider might imagine. The family tree includes names like Knight, Maas, MacPherson, Scrimpton and Green.

Zohra, born Nora Knight, was brought up by her grandmother, Annie Scrimpton, and around the Alexandra Rajahs for whom some of her extended  family worked. She fell in love as a young woman with the dashing Ismail Rajah. This was complicated because she was neither of Indian heritage nor a Muslim. The Rajah family did not approve and the young couple were cast adrift when they chose love over convention and married.

Zohra had seven children; later twenty grandchildren and nineteen great-grandchildren. We are still counting. This, combined with what must have been a tough upbringing, shaped the feisty woman that she became. She would stand no nonsense, was often very direct and always fiercely protective of her children. She was well known in the community and was sought out for advice. She was known variously as Auntie Ba, Ouma Ba, Ma, Zohra and Nora to friends and family. Her home was open to all.

Life under apartheid was not easy for Zohra and her family. Educational opportunities were limited and there were times when the children had to travel long distances to school or make the move from their rural home to Lenasia Township, south of Johannesburg.

Zohra converted to Islam early in her marriage and fulfilled her obligation to make the Hajj pilgrimage, with Ismail, some years ago. When her own children attended madrassah, they helped her increase her knowledge of the Quran.

Amongst many happy family times, highlights include Sunday picnics at Lone Creek Falls near Sabie in the old Eastern Transvaal and weekend trips to Portuguese Lourenço Marques where the family could enjoy a respite from apartheid.

Although Zohra had little formal education, she was a fount of knowledge. She could name rivers by country across the globe. She enjoyed a crossword or word puzzle. She was a fan of Elvis Presley and the most handsome of the  lead men in Bollywood films. She was as comfortable engaging in a lively discussion with a lawyer or university professor as she was was with the gardener.

After 66 years of marriage, Zohra was widowed and the loss of the love of her life triggered a steady decline in her health. This did not alter the fact that wherever she was became the family hub. She was almost never alone.  Her instagram generation grandchildren were happy to sit for hours and be entertained by her stories or receive life advice. Friends from the old days would frequently visit on Sundays.

A small piece of the best of the old South Africa just left for a better place; resilient, self-sufficient, loving, generous and welcoming. She will be missed.

Written with the help of my wife, Zohra’s 4th daughter, Nafisa.

Thirteen Moons

The northern spring has arrived in England so it must be close to the first anniversary of leaving the corporate world and entering the new, exciting, less structured phase of my life about which I regularly blog . It has been a tumultuous year of change for the world as a whole and a transitional one for me and my family. Reflecting on the last year, what seems important now?

Firstly, I acknowledge that I am unusually privileged. For the moment, I have my health; something I do not take for granted having had surgery to remove a colon cancer 5 years ago. I do not feel like a survivor or that I won a battle. More realistically, I had the benefit of early diagnosis, the power of prayer, world-beating medical care in the U.S. (right place and time), a supportive family, and a positive mindset. An alarming number of my friends and colleagues have not been so lucky even when they also had most or all of these advantages.

I also have the freedom that a generous (hard earned) company pension brings. This large slice of good fortune is increasingly rare of course. I have opportunities and choices that most people do not. The luxury of being able to work, write and enjoy life in the proportions that I choose is precious indeed.

The year which saw the start of Brexit, Trump elected and the boss at my former employer become US Secretary of State has been bewildering. Even those developments are perhaps not so important if you are unfortunate enough to be close to the Syrian Civil War, a Rohingya in Myanmar or eking out a living in famine struck parts of Africa.

When I retired from the corporate world, I was sure, to the surprise of many of my colleagues, that I wanted to continue to use my skills. I was not ready for a permanent holiday. I set up a limited company in the UK to provide a launchpad for that part of my plan. Running a small business is an education in itself. Negotiating the regulatory minefield is not for the feint-hearted. The end of the UK tax year, in early April, triggered a number of time critical activities and surfaced a few problems with the monthly reporting that we had been slavishly doing. Turns out that the Government’s basic PAYE software does not synchronise data between two, networked laptops used for reporting the same account during the year. Even though the telephone help desk talked me through the remedy with great patience, I am sure many small business owners in the same situation would have blown a fuse in the process.

Building and publishing a  website to showcase my business offer was relatively easy. Adapting it for mobile users turned out to be straightforward, as was linking the website to this regular blog. So far so good. Being heard above the din of the web and social media is more of a challenge.  My Google Ads are most often clicked through in Pakistan, Ethiopia and Papua New Guinea. No problem with that but the occasional view in Tunbridge Wells would be good too. Most of the people accessing my blog are hackers or people hoping to get comments published including embedded links to their own websites selling toddler stair gates. Russian IP addresses recorded against failed logon attempts are spookily frequent; perhaps the only thing I have in common with PoTUS. The amateur blogger is forced into a daily routine of blocking obvious hackers, marking unwanted blog comments as spam and checking the availability of new add-ons to reduce the risk of robot attacks.

My new, time-rich lifestyle is an opportunity to indulge in writing; something I have long wanted to do. In addition to this blog, I have published a short story; again something that proved to be much easier than I had expected. Thus encouraged there is more in the pipeline.

The paid work I did in the last year amounted to about 25 days in total. More would be good but nobody can accuse me of having lost sight of the life work (sic) balance that I am striving for.

I still spent enough time on planes to get to silver status with British Airways but pretty much all of that was with my wife and mostly for pleasure. A key message of the pre-retirement workshop that my wife and I attended was to make sure to spend a little of the pension pot and have fun. Check that.

Having fun is surely a critical ingredient in postponing old age. Others, not always fun, are suggested in Younger Next Year. I do not claim to have done everything the book recommends but I have stuck to my plan and I do feel that I can entertain, for the time being, the illusion of feeling younger, more relaxed and fitter, than this time last year.

Change is good.


Pressure of Work

This blog has been silent for the 7 weeks of 2017 that have rushed by already. This cannot be because of a paucity of change on which to comment. We have had the start of the Trump presidency which has been a thrill a day, proving wrong those of us that thought his presidency could not be as bad as his candidacy. As mentioned earlier, I am in South Africa for the southern summer and being this far from the action has a calming effect and reduces the itch that normally gets scratched with 250 or so words.

So it is not pressure of work that is keeping me from blogging although I am developing several business opportunities that I hope will come to fruition later in the year. In the meantime, as one of the fortunate and shrinking few that have a generous pension, I am not burdened by the need to earn today’s crust.

It is not many years ago that the talk was of the 3rd age and multiple careers in a long but more rewarding working life. Reality is kicking in and a new generation of workers will probably be forced into a more pragmatic future. This future will require full time work perhaps even beyond three score and ten. My generation is already envied and sometimes subjected to more hostile reactions to our good fortune. Our voting habits are analysed for evidence of selfishness and a lack of consideration for those that will look after us, hopefully, in our dotage. Our tendency to spend our money rather than build our childrens’ inheritance is not looked upon kindly.

How will this divisive trend be centred?

We already see that there is a return to extended families sharing homes and inheritances being advanced in the form of home loans and gifts. Grandparents are increasingly volunteering for their traditional role as child carers. These developments are often part of a negative narrative; consequences of difficult times and a broken economy. However, surely they are also evidence of a society that adapts to change while falling back on its core values. We should promote such developments and look for new opportunities to leverage the technology that makes our lives easier and more interesting no matter when we were born.

Change is good.






In Sickness and in Health

This has been a year full of life milestones and change for me and for my family. The latest milestone is the wedding of my eldest daughter. Said daughter is one of that generation of professional, young people forced by the high cost of housing in the UK to live with parents. Her fiancé and she decided not to live together before marriage. So her happy event was also a trigger for some quiet pondering on the part of her parents. How would we fill the gap left by her? At one level, there will be fewer lemon drizzle cakes and the discipline required to get to the gym each morning will increase without the help of a station drop off. On another level, more pressure on me to remain talkative into the evening when I have often had the luxury of slipping into the background while the women in my life discuss the day or the wedding plan.

It seems reasonable that we should treat personal change with at least as much care and thought as we might apply to professional situations but how many of us develop a Change Plan for such situations? More likely we make it up on the run or give it little thought until we hit challenges. Perhaps this is a good discussion to have with my wife on an evening soon when I might otherwise be tempted to go into standby mode.

I have learnt (again) that a spreadsheet approach to planning, in this case, a wedding is not welcome and that a family does not respond well to a too obviously structured approach to Project and Change Management. In the absence of such an approach it seems that my family falls back on intense communication and consultation followed by periods of frantic action. Roles are assigned without discussion based perhaps on previous experience of what works and what does not. My wife is the planner and has a complete grasp of the detail. On a practical level, my role is to manage logistics. At other times, I am the one that is expected to stay calm and see the way through a difficult phase in the preparations. My family has come to expect that I will often be grumpy but nearly always support our team effort.

I am not sure I would recommend the Lewis family approach to Project and Change Management but it demonstrates that there is more than one way to achieve success.



Jozi Boy

My father-in-law died this week. He was an Indian South African whose own father came to Africa from Gujarat in the early 20th century. His life started and ended, 88 years apart, in Johannesburg. He was a devout, peace loving Muslim. For a large part of his life he lived under the Apartheid regime. He was neither an activist nor a collaborator. Like most South Africans, he got on with his life, raised a family and put up with the regular humiliations that, until the early 1990s, went with life in that otherwise beautiful country. He travelled for business, speaking multiple languages with his rainbow customers; English, Gujarati, Afrikaans, Zulu. Away from home, he slept with friends or in his car because he was not welcome in hotels. Even when Apartheid fell away, he preferred home cooked padkos to eating in restaurants which would earlier have turned him away. Why would he not?

The young Ismail was estranged from his family because he fell in love with a non-muslim, Nora then Zora, to whom he was married for over 60 years. Together they had 7 children. He  worked hard and played football in his spare time, wearing out his knees in the process. He liked to dance to records on the home gramophone; there was no television in South Africa until 1976. His idea of a perfect weekend was a trip to Lourenço Marques (now Maputo) with his family in his VW Combi. The colonial Portuguese were more relaxed in their attitudes to race than their South African counterparts and camping on the beach was cheap and cheerful. LM Prawns could be enjoyed al fresco in the sea-front restaurants. He loved the sea and in later years would take long, surf sprayed, daily walks on the beach in East London where one of his daughters was living.

He also loved the Lowveld in the Eastern Transvaal, now Mpumalanga, where he lived for many years. This edgy, green, only just sub-tropical landscape still holds scattered township communities in which his customers lived and through which he loved to drive; places with evocative names like Sabie, Graskop, Hazyview and Bushbuckridge. The Kruger National Park was another favourite place.

In a long life, my Father-in-law experienced a lot of change. He was kind of indifferent to most of it because his home grown family was the one constant in his life; always there and mostly making him smile.

May God grant you a better place Haji Ismail Adam Rajah. I will miss you.


Childlike Enthusiasm

The post corporate life that I have been leading since Spring has many benefits. Today I took the afternoon off and hiked up a lovely valley near my home simply because it was too beautiful a day to spend in the office. Better still, earlier this week, I was able to take my  Grandson to his first day at nursery school and witness the pure excitement as he rushed to join his unmet classmates and a bunch of unfamiliar toys. Disappointingly, from a professional point of view, I was not called upon to articulate the benefits of this new regime, nor point out that lots of things will be just the same.

The young child’s enthusiasm for change and new horizons would be an excellent commodity for a Change Manager to have distilled and bottled; to be dispensed sparingly when the going gets tough. At what point in our young lives does this spirit get diluted by anxiety about a change in the status quo? Is it when we discover that new friends can sometimes be mean or the first time a much loved teacher leaves for a new school. Probably we as (grand) parents unwittingly transmit our anxieties.  Of course it is different for everyone but nearly all of us eventually catch that bug that is aversion to change.

So in the absence of a bottle of Essence de Petit Enfant, I will just have to enjoy the moment and try not to let my worries get in the way of a my grandchildrens’ early life adventures.

Change is Good.

House and Home

Moving home is one of those experiences in life along with losing a loved one, your first child, divorce and (name your own choice here), that is rated most traumatic, stressful and, yes, exciting too. Very few of us manage a life time without having to cope with a home move at least once. If ever a life event resembled a Change Management initiative, moving home is the one.

I raise this now because my Mother has just completed a successful move and downsizing after living in the same house for 40 years. The case for action had been strong for sometime but until recently she had toyed with the idea several times before always rejecting it. The difficulties presented seemed to outweigh the opportunities. The burden of running an, apparently idyllic, English country cottage and large garden had inevitably and progressively increased for Mum after the loss of her soul mate, my Father, 7 years ago. Even when this burden became intolerable, there was still much room for discussion about the right course of action and the hope that it would be better tomorrow.

The process of selling a house in England is not designed for the faint-hearted nor those with doubts about the change they are undertaking. Neither buyer nor seller is bound to the transaction until an exchange of contracts.  This occurs weeks or months after the buyer’s offer is accepted and maybe only a couple of days before closure and the move itself. Usually, the buy/sell transaction is just one of several in an inter-dependent chain. Weak links do what weak links do. Sleepless nights and interminable legal questionnaires can easily be converted into a loss of determination to see it through.

Then there is the little matter of emotional attachment to the status quo; the treasured memories of decades of life in the same home, the neighbours and nearby friends, the beauty of the garden on a late summer morning. These are only amplified when the packing starts. The photographs, letters and ornaments with sentimental value are rediscovered. There is inevitably that low point in the change curve when only the wilderness  ahead is visible. Life will surely never return to normal. Nowhere will ever seem like home again. Everything is changing and it does not feel good.

My Mother wisely engaged the help of Meirion, our home downsizing consultant (a.k.a. Change Manager) who brought detachment tempered with empathy and combined with pragmatism and experience. In this case, as so often, our Change Manager was critical to success.

The move itself is a moment of truth but no going back now. The new home, with familiar furniture quickly in position, takes shape with surprising speed. Suddenly the focus is on the future rather than the past. The moments of doubt are still there at stressful moments and when short of sleep but the flood tide of hope and optimism cannot be held back.

Change is good.